..and all Gods children said…Seig Heil?

Nuremberg Christianity?  -by Steven Fisher

I just saw the movie “The Hangover” for the 3^rd time. Totally funny, and wholly inappropriate!

Former boxer Mike Tyson has a scene where the main characters have come back to their hotel room to try to find a missing friend. The radio is on when they arrive and Phil Collins “All My Life” is playing as they are confronted by Tysons bodyguard. As they are introduced to Mike, (and accused of stealing a live bengal tiger), he shushes them and turns their attention to the music just as the song is coming to the chorus..”I’ve been waiting for this moment, for all my life” he sings along, …and then punches Alan (played by Zach Galifianakis) square in the face.

While not “all my life”, I had been waiting for THIS moment for years. This is the church where “seasoned Christians” come to hear from God. “The worship sometimes lasts for hours”, said more than one friend.” It’s not for new believers but it’s totally incredible!

Wow!!

Incredible with a hint of exclusivity. I want in.

I’m genuinely excited. My friend plays guitar here. We come early for rehearsal.

While I’m sitting here next to the sound booth contemplating the great use of space, the cafe, the powerpoint media, the overall warmth and welcoming-yet-mildly-corporate feel to everything, onstage the drummer does a snare drum trick made popular by the rock band U2. It makes me think about my friend Andrew and his love for all things Bono. He teaches at a school for Christian music leaders, and passes on his love of this style to his unsuspecting students…maybe this drummer was one.

This is how my mind wanders.

I am reminded of a place in the book “The Irresistible Revolution”, where the author is contemplating the consumer friendly, well marketed, conspicuously “crucifix free” business casual serenity of Willow Creek, and its effort to be seeker sensitive.

I am reminded of it more than once.

“Do they have Bibles?” I ask.

“Those things cost money.” is my friends straight faced reply.

Did he just imply that yes, the church conciously chose to spend it’s money on sweet audio and video systems, a mini corporate logo coffeeshop, and a few trips to IKEA, while also making a conscious choice not to waste funding on Bibles or other trivialities that don’t really belong in a Church?

I’m pretty sure I got that wrong but still don’t see any Bibles.

This is not meant as a rant against one church or how they choose to spend money.

But it also cannot help to make a few points along the way. Since I’m writing about the modern church and my perspective, this church was the turning point and catalyst for these ideas.

While I was asking about the church seeming to be seeker oriented..”you know, like willow, mars, or Bethel Redding..” he manages to stammer “We are NOTHING like Bethel!” Ten minutes later the pastor cites 3 important books written by Redding pastors, and highly recommended for the church this season. My friend takes notes.

The irony is both palpable, and totally missed, in the warm glow of blind submission.

Hitler should’ve started a megachurch.

Emotional manipulation.

Using sound and stimulus to bring about a desired effect, state, or response.

The music here is good. Fer sure.

My concern is not with using the awesome talents we’ve been given.  I believe that, more than most, I have been blessed to meet and to know so many truly talented people..scholars, politicians, music, theatre, and artsy individuals. Many of them believe their gifts and talents are God given. I would not disagree at all.

As my friend pointed out, “do you want us to go back to the days of the pipe organ? Shouldn’t we serve God with the gifts we’ve been given?”

I do love a good pipeorgan, but have to agree with him.

I remember my big city mindset when I first moved to Breckenridge.

Where’s the bookstore and happy christian starbucks? Where are the lights, the sound booth, the slick presentation. Plants, trees, and comfortable chairs? Why aren’t we painting? Why aren’t more people taking notes? I called friends to complain, and wanting to be a part of the solution rather than the problem,  sought their help to get these simple village folk up to speed. My question was consistent “how does our church get their signature sound”? Calvary Fort Lauderdale has a music school and program devoted to this. The wise answer one friend finally offered was this. “Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus instead on what you do”.

Thank you Captain Obvious. It took a second for me to realize he was totally serious.

How are your talents being used? Do they enhance the experience or are they the experience?

If you have only a djembe, a guitar, and a vocalist, then use them to the glory of God. Don’t worry about tomorrow for it has its own time.

That wisdom really has carried me through a desolate place in my life.

Now I’m sitting here thinking about God, Jesus, Calvin vs Arminian, and about the idea that emotion somehow equals experience, and how more and more Churches are selling the sizzle, while leaving the steaks in the kitchen.

I understand that there are many who begin to believe because of the experiential, and that’s beautiful. I look around and see genuine worship here, kids dancing and people experiencing God. I watch and listen as the song takes a measured break…  the pastor begins to speak, and this is it, it’s the spot at the concert where the singer introduces the band and talks about how great it is to be here…and the pastor begins to pray, and while he’s praying the band starts up again, slowly, matching the increased tempo of the prayer…and it gets louder as he gets louder and more intense, and the band gets louder, and the drummers doing the U2 kick snare thing….and at the apex of this frenzy the pastor finishes by instructing “all Gods children” to  say AMEN!”.

But for me a still, small voice was whispering “SEIG HEIL!”

I feel like I just took a Mike Tyson punch to the face.

Be careful, Christian.

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