I was going to start with “hello church”, but a lot of my friends receiving this aren’t christians; some don’t like “institutions”, and others are still looking for the right community where they fit in. So in a very awkward way, I want everyone to know that this “Hello” is for you!

Most support letters I get make me wade through a bunch of “all the good we’re doing for the world” stuff before asking for help. While there’s a ton of great stuff we’ll be doing for the world, I’ve decided to save it for last, along with an update and a big thank you!

I travel. Every six months I bounce between winter in Ft Lauderdale and then summer in Chicago. The last three years however, I’ve been in Breckenridge, Colorado, working at the nations highest elevation marina and promoting and developing a seeker friendly skate and snowboard website for young adults. Everything about the skitown lifestyle appeals to me. Snowboarding/skiing, epic days, warm fires, hot cocoa, good friends..it’s like Christmas day everyday from Nov till May! And yet I felt called to leave. I’m haunted by the reality that while I’m deciding whether to wear Burton or MeGlad, a little boy and girl will die today because they didn’t have food or water. That’s a fact. Another fact is that her grieving mother won’t think my new bindings are cute or care who placed where in the Dew Tour.

Having things is good. The Dew Tour is a really sweet event. I ride Salomon or Lib Tech and love MeGlad. That isn’t the point.

I’ve been a friend to the dying, the lost, and the lonely as well as the wealthy and influential. We’ve all seen the desperate need in our world, I’m just at a place where I have a really hard time sitting on the sidelines and not getting personally involved.

Not everyone can do that. Not everyone wants to or should. I can; so I do.

I’ve self funded my journeys since 02, this is my first support letter.

God is showing me that we all have times of need, and to be okay allowing others to help with that need.

Although I’ve saved enough to pay for room, board, airfare, and insurance for the 4 month trip, with 14 days until Nassau I have a few unmet and unforeseen expenses.

Here’s where you can help.

The Need = $1200.00

A) Pray. About your involvement. (if ur not a prayer type of friend, just think really hard about it!)

B) Donate. If you can afford 10, 20, or more, great. If you can gift a pair of boots or carhartts..awesome.

Never undervalue the encouragement of your prayers.

James 5:7 puts it like this. “Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months.”

The biggest thing you can do would be to pray for me. Pray that I would be healthy, willing, and humble. That I would be a blessing in the places I tread, would learn the lessons that God has for me there, and that I would be able to articulate those lessons to others when I return.

This is my first letter for support, so I’m not sure what to say here other than Thanks!!!

You can donate any amount through paypal, or by purchasing a “wishlist” item through Amazon.com.

If making your donation by check, Park Church, in Denver, is my Colorado church, and Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale my home church. Please email me for addresses and info.

“All the great ministry stuff!”

This will be the 2nd winter I’ve dedicated to serving solely in missions.

A little pre-colorado Stevo info:

Three years ago I gave away “my stuff”. Cars, motorcycles, guitars, even my prized Mesa 2×12 05:50 all tube awesome amplifier!!! (now being played to the Lord at Calvary Hollywood!), and everything else, walked away from a business offer, and from my marine business altogether. I bought a plane ticket to Denver and followed Gods call from Ft Lauderdale, Fl to Breckenridge, CO.

During my first months in Breckenridge I met Pastor Jimmy at Great Divide. His wife Sabrina knew Pastor Sean and Lisa Rafferty who were about to plant a church in Chihuahua, Mx, which is where our friend Rocio from Ft Lauderdale had been faithfully ministering to Tarahumara children. She shared the Rafferty’s vision, and soon after our small group in Florida began sending missions teams to Mexico. When I was able to visit last winter, the little church in Chihuahua City was standing room only, using the local health club gym to baptize new believers, and adding weekly to their numbers! Their Lightshine outreach program to the Tarahumara children continues to grow and bless the area, change hearts, and bring souls to know the hope of Jesus Christ!

Last year, I left the mountain to go home to Florida for the winter, and was able to spend a month helping teams in Ft Lauderdale organize medical and humanitarian supplies, and to send doctors/medics to Haiti working alongside Habitat for Humanity. We were able to be among the first responders to the earthquake disaster, getting tons of supplies shipped over as well as providing nonstop small craft flights with medical staff and aid for 3 weeks until a permanent hospital and triage unit could be erected.

I had hoped to spend most of this winter learning from our friends in Chihuahua, but the Lord had other plans, and as will happen, that brook has dried up so that He could call me to an exciting ministry that I’ve been familiar with, but never had the opportunity to be a part of.

A flurry of emails (and a few forward thinking friends) led to a random email in the inbox and 45 minute phone call/interview from the exec director of The Adventure Learning Centre, in the Bahamas. ALC is a para-church organization focused on spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They were the base for Calvary Chapel Ft Lauderdale’s “Patmos” discipleship program, and continuously serve as home to several Christian ministries, and host church camps, mission trips, and retreats throughout the year. They exist to serve the local community of Nassau and everyone that comes to visit.

What I’ll be up to:

I’m going to be working with patients in the final stages of HIV at a former leper colony, assisting in the maintenance and groundskeeping of a youth science and outreach center, and helping in the day to day upkeep of a 35 acre ranch and camp facility. Driving the schoolbus, mucking the horsestalls, pouring concrete, truly being what we like to call “the hands and feet of Christ.”

I’m totally excited and thrilled that I get to go..to do…and to be totally me, and that I can use my unique talents, gifts, and skillsets to help other people!

So, thats a lot. A lot of my needs have been met. I still have a little farther to go. Will you help? Thanks!

-in Christ,

Stevo

To Donate:

Paypal:      Send payment to Rez_777@hotmail.com

Amazon:   http://www.amazon.com/wishlist/160DK0TD5N16L/ref=cm_sw_em_r_wl_DE98mb10W8KJJ

Email:       Questions or additional info, Rez_777@hotmail

Love never ends.  -1Corinthians 13v4-8.

1Corinthians 13:1-2 begins with this;

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

Let me repeat that. In my language.

If I think I’m freakin awesome, but don’t care about your feelings or what you think, I am not awesome at all. If I’m a big fat know it all, start clubs, studies, or petition global changes, but aren’t there at 2am when you break down, I am nothing. If I travel the earth, give away my money, live in the mountains and start cool websites, but don’t have a love for the children of God, then I have nothing, gain nothing, am…nothing.

This is in the bible. Jesus doesn’t care how much you give of yourself if that sacrifice isn’t tied to a deep committment to love the same people that He loved, bled, and died for.

I totally got this wrong.

Last week God showed me the heart of the lie I’d been living.

I’ve been hellfire and damnation disguised as love and tolerance for far too long. It happens.  Just like former smokers or alcoholics who beat their addictions only to become the worst critics of those who still drink and smoke. Fitness addicts are often former fatties who point and laugh at those still struggling with weight and image. All too often we come to know the truly amazing grace of God in our own lives and then fail on an epic level to extend that grace to anyone else, ever.

Last week changed everything.

I spent seven days in central Mexico with 22 extraordinary people who went to see Gods kingdom here on earth by investing in the lives of  people and children that will never be able to repay them. Ever.

I went with a crappy attitude and a half-hearted desire to see God move. I emailed my pastor and told him I felt myself slipping away. That even though I loved God, I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. I was feeding the homeless, going to bible studies, writing blogs, going on missions trips, trying desperately to change the world, but I was still dead on the inside. Sure, I believed that I wanted to be used by God, but only in that noncommittal way most people do, when it’s convenient, when it doesn’t interfere. When I can treat God like an employee or a genie, or like a nice old man who I can either listen to or blow off. So, I really only wanted God to be God if he did what I said. Which would mean that good intentions aside, I never really wanted to do His will at all.

I am so thankful that God is a God of relationships. That He loves me when I can’t love myself, and that He doesn’t judge me the same way that I judge others.  He has a plan and purpose for my life even when I can’t see past my own. I am usually very wrong before I get to be right. He has designed me to learn through epic failures so that others don’t have to.

This is what I learned.

We left from Fort Lauderdale, flew to El Paso, got on a bus. It broke down. We got on another. Finally, we were inside the border, on another bus that, 6 hours later,  arrived in Chihuahua City. I had a very smarmy attitude. I think a lot of us did. We were definitely all holding onto some spiritual baggage. One girl thought the drug gangs were going to get us. Another thought it was going to be the water. One of the “men” was acting like a little girl about germs and spiders. We had only been here for a day and it was turning into the worst trip ever.

Then we got to the base house in the mountains. This is where it really came together. This is where God showed up.

Our first night in the Sierra Madres we held a bonfire. The women got together and made the best food I have ever in my life (not even kidding) tasted. John started an impromptu worship jam and dance party. Everybody loosened up. We looked into the night sky and saw the  heavens open up around us in an entirely new way. The sound of the mountains, the howls in the distance, the chill of the air, the crackle and aroma of sage and mesquite burning in the fire pit. Our host, Rojelio (Row-hee-lee-oh), shared his testimony through a translator, spoke of a time when his wife prayed for him to be a Godly husband, a man of honor, a man of love. He shared that he had other plans, they involved quick money, long hours, and bad decisions. The Lord blessed him with an uncle who was a drug runner in Juarez. The uncle promised Rojelio some easy money if he’d help deliver used cars to the United States. Rojelio did two years in jail when it was discovered that his car was concealing marijuana. He took the fall for his uncle. While in jail he held bible studies and brought many men to the knowledge of Jesus. When he got out he became the man who his wife always wanted him to be. He forgave his uncle, told him about Jesus. Moved to the mountains and now helps the Tarahumara indians to build their homes, find food and water, and teaches them about our living, breathing, loving, God.

After Rojelio spoke, one of the women, Elizabeth, began to speak about building the temple. Haggai 1:2 says this; “Consider your ways. Go up to the mountains, bring wood and build the temple, that I may take pleasure in it and that I may be glorified, says the LORD.”

It struck home. It’s the same chapter that led me to leave Florida and move to Colorado. It’s the verse that I quote when talking about doing something new in the mountains, new monasticism, radical christianity, ect.

Something was stirring.

I got to know a friend whose life has immeasurably blessed me. The amount of  love pouring through everything she does showed me something fascinating about Jesus in a way that could only be Jesus. Love. Christs Love. The Holy Spirits Love. A very dangerous love. A greater love has none but this, that He would lay down his life for one another kind of love.

Wow.

I spent the night mostly awake. I stumbled through a chapter of James, a few verses in Luke, and reread Haggai.

I’ve come to the mountains. I am His temple, and yet it lies here in ruins. Here I am, in ruins. I need you Lord.

I wept.

Jesus didn’t come so that I could move to the mountains and be a better skiier. He didn’t die so that I could be a millionaire. He didn’t rise again so I could feed the homeless, go on missions trips, feel good about my salvation, or be a loveless, lifeless hypocrite.

God so loved us that He sent his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Jesus did not come to condemn the world but that, through Him, the world might be saved.

This is pretty basic Christian philosophy. So basic that we forget. That I forget.

God so loved us.

Something changed in me that moment. My heart broke in a thousand places for a thousand reasons. I wanted to love as Jesus loved. Without worrying about looking cool or whether or not we’ll be  friends on facebook. To see each person as Christ sees them. Precious, lovely, broken, and yet beautiful. The glory and the strength of the Lord. It is so easy to live in darkness, to call things dark or evil, because it’s what we know so well. But I am beginning to see with the eyes of my savior. And he made everything glorious. God made the earth and all its fullness, and when it was finished, He called it good.

This is love. This is our job.

I just saw the movie “The Hangover” for the 3^rd time. Totally funny, and wholly inappropriate!

Former boxer Mike Tyson has a scene where the main characters have come back to their hotel room to try to find a missing friend. The radio is on when they arrive and Phil Collins “All My Life” is playing as they are confronted by Tysons bodyguard. As they are introduced to Mike, (and accused of stealing a live bengal tiger), he shushes them and turns their attention to the music just as the song is coming to the chorus..”I’ve been waiting for this moment, for all my life” he sings along, …and then punches Alan (played by Zach Galifianakis) square in the face.

While not “all my life”, I had been waiting for THIS moment for years. This is the church where “seasoned Christians” come to hear from God. “The worship sometimes lasts for hours”, said more than one friend.” It’s not for new believers but it’s totally incredible!

Wow!!

Incredible with a hint of exclusivity. I want in.

I’m genuinely excited. My friend plays guitar here. We come early for rehearsal.

While I’m sitting here next to the sound booth contemplating the great use of space, the cafe, the powerpoint media, the overall warmth and welcoming-yet-mildly-corporate feel to everything, onstage the drummer does a snare drum trick made popular by the rock band U2. It makes me think about my friend Andrew and his love for all things Bono. He teaches at a school for Christian music leaders, and passes on his love of this style to his unsuspecting students…maybe this drummer was one.

This is how my mind wanders.

I am reminded of a place in the book “The Irresistible Revolution”, where the author is contemplating the consumer friendly, well marketed, conspicuously “crucifix free” business casual serenity of Willow Creek, and its effort to be seeker sensitive.

I am reminded of it more than once.

“Do they have Bibles?” I ask.

“Those things cost money.” is my friends straight faced reply.

Did he just imply that yes, the church conciously chose to spend it’s money on sweet audio and video systems, a mini corporate logo coffeeshop, and a few trips to IKEA, while also making a conscious choice not to waste funding on Bibles or other trivialities that don’t really belong in a Church?

I’m pretty sure I got that wrong but still don’t see any Bibles.

This is not meant as a rant against one church or how they choose to spend money.

But it also cannot help to make a few points along the way. Since I’m writing about the modern church and my perspective, this church was the turning point and catalyst for these ideas.

While I was asking about the church seeming to be seeker oriented..”you know, like willow, mars, or Bethel Redding..” he manages to stammer “We are NOTHING like Bethel!” Ten minutes later the pastor cites 3 important books written by Redding pastors, and highly recommended for the church this season. My friend takes notes.

The irony is both palpable, and totally missed, in the warm glow of blind submission.

Hitler should’ve started a megachurch.

Emotional manipulation.

Using sound and stimulus to bring about a desired effect, state, or response.

The music here is good. Fer sure.

My concern is not with using the awesome talents we’ve been given.  I believe that, more than most, I have been blessed to meet and to know so many truly talented people..scholars, politicians, music, theatre, and artsy individuals. Many of them believe their gifts and talents are God given. I would not disagree at all.

As my friend pointed out, “do you want us to go back to the days of the pipe organ? Shouldn’t we serve God with the gifts we’ve been given?”

I do love a good pipeorgan, but have to agree with him.

I remember my big city mindset when I first moved to Breckenridge.

Where’s the bookstore and happy christian starbucks? Where are the lights, the sound booth, the slick presentation. Plants, trees, and comfortable chairs? Why aren’t we painting? Why aren’t more people taking notes? I called friends to complain, and wanting to be a part of the solution rather than the problem,  sought their help to get these simple village folk up to speed. My question was consistent “how does our church get their signature sound”? Calvary Fort Lauderdale has a music school and program devoted to this. The wise answer one friend finally offered was this. “Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus instead on what you do”.

Thank you Captain Obvious. It took a second for me to realize he was totally serious.

How are your talents being used? Do they enhance the experience or are they the experience?

If you have only a djembe, a guitar, and a vocalist, then use them to the glory of God. Don’t worry about tomorrow for it has its own time.

That wisdom really has carried me through a desolate place in my life.

Now I’m sitting here thinking about God, Jesus, Calvin vs Arminian, and about the idea that emotion somehow equals experience, and how more and more Churches are selling the sizzle, while leaving the steaks in the kitchen.

I understand that there are many who begin to believe because of the experiential, and that’s beautiful. I look around and see genuine worship here, kids dancing and people experiencing God. I watch and listen as the song takes a measured break…  the pastor begins to speak, and this is it, it’s the spot at the concert where the singer introduces the band and talks about how great it is to be here…and the pastor begins to pray, and while he’s praying the band starts up again, slowly, matching the increased tempo of the prayer…and it gets louder as he gets louder and more intense, and the band gets louder, and the drummers doing the U2 kick snare thing….and at the apex of this frenzy the pastor finishes by instructing “all Gods children” to  say AMEN!”.

But for me a still, small voice was whispering “SEIG HEIL!”

I feel like I just took a Mike Tyson punch to the face.

Be careful, Christian.

I’ve been serving the homeless with a new friend this week. We went to 3 cities over 3 days to feed and minister to hundreds of “the least of these”.  Oh, she’s a she. Almost immediately my buddies started teasing me about “my new girlfriend”. I’m glad they’re quick to point out potential specks even when they know my call to singleness.

What did I learn from this?

Jesus meets a woman at a well. So what? Aside from being a great story about living water and the division of Isaac and Ishmael, it’s important to note that the New Testament writer finds Jesus’ purity in this simple meeting so interesting that it actually gets a mention in the cannon. She must’ve been A) a prostitute, or B) super freakin hot.

Did his friends wonder?

Did they tease him?

We call him Messiah, but to James and Andrew he was just a guy. A popular, dangerous, radical guy. But still, a guy.

A single guy.

Hanging with the divorcee.

Here’s what the Bible says in John4:27.

“Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

Why were there no chants of “someone’s got a girlfriend!”?

I think it’s because they expected more of their Rabbi.

I want my friends to expect more from me.

Does our faith boil down to just what we believe true for ourselves? We are quick to judge, quick to point a finger, quick to condemn others when it serves us, but not so much when it comes to our friends, neighbors, and popular leaders. Are we the pharisee Christ speaks to when he says “you burden your people with unbelievable loads but won’t lift one finger to keep them from stumbling?” Hypocrites. Brood of vipers.

Some of us still believe the bible to be the inerrant, inspired, word of God.

Don’t we?

Ephesians 5:3 says this.

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

Here are a few other things we “believe”.

1) In our modern day and age, premarital sex is okay because it’s era consistent and an acceptable moral state as viewed by society at large. (worship leader)
2) Oral sex and assisted manual release (a reach around) is okay because that’s not really sex. (pastoral intern)
3) Sexual advances, requests, and explicit verbal descriptions is perfectly fine with your ministry partners. (Youth ministry assistants)
4) Having sex with a student is okay if they turn 18 during the school year. (2 private school teachers)
5) If a man won’t be a man of God and keep me pure, then AFTER we have sex I break it off, because HE can’t be called to holiness. Sex is your parting gift. (small group leader)
6) Getting a lapdance is okay as long as the stripper isn’t “saved”. You don’t lust after the sisters in church, and you’re not really sinning because the dancer, having not yet accepted Christ, is dead anyways. (small group leader)
7) A man is supposed to have sex. That way God knows he is not a gay. (layperson)
8 ) This (2 extra marital affairs within church leadership at the same time) is between those involved and God. Who are we to judge? (pastors and worship leaders)

Who are we to judge?

The obvious response is “are you freakin kidding me?”

I’m more surprised by the fact that these mindsets are so prevalent that we actually feel it’s wrong or “intolerant” to get involved.

I asked a good friend to review this. She replied that I should check my heart to make sure I’m not trying to get even with the people that made these statements.

I was not expecting that.

I would however, expect that if the bride of Christ was being raped and beaten, sacked and used against her will, that the first thing people would call for would be removal from positions where church leaders screen the flock for new bedroom talent and places where pervs that distort Christ are given access to your 17 year old sons and daughters!

Check my heart.

Do I do that before the pastor gets a reacharound or afterwards? He’ll probably want to take a little nap. I should wait. Should I check my heart before tipping the stripper, after I’ve washed up, or after I’ve convinced my girlfriend that since we’re sooooo really in love, we should move in together? You want a big wedding, right? Really this is a better way for us to save money.  And hey babe, technically we’re already married in Gods eyes, we don’t need some consumer driven wedding industry to make our love official if it’s real in our hearts. We can just lie here and sleep …we won’t let it get too far…well, okay…just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels.

Maybe that’s where I’ll start checking my heart. At the tip.

I wonder if that’s what the captain of the Titanic thought…just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels. How’d that work out again?

These cavalier and casual attitudes towards bad behavior are really distressing. We stand up and shout for children in foreign lands, or people without enough food to eat, we call our senators to ask for new legislation and laws, we have reverse confessionals asking forgiveness for all the wrongs the church has done over the years, all the while we ourselves are unwilling to take a stand or to call for any real accountability and righteousness in Gods house. Brood of vipers.

Here’s a question.

Is it wrong to ask the pedophile to stop molesting your four year old?

Would that be insensitive?

Is it intolerant of the pedophiles needs?

Is that too edgy? Too close to the daily news? Too real?

Be careful, try not to offend. Everybody stumbles.

What he/she really needs here is prayer.

Agreed.

Lots of prayer.

However, before we pray I’d really like for him to stop touching my daughter and do everything I could to get him away from the rest of my children.

Chelsea Buhrman (reprint by permission)

I want to curse. Now, before you get hung up about cursing, let’s remember there are bigger problems in the universe; cursing is a minor one. Bloated bellies, female genital mutilation, the caste system in India… those are major ones. Oh, and 6 year old girls forced into child prostitution in Thailand. That falls into the “major problem” category.

A few years ago Tony Campolo did a good job, in my opinion, of “tactfully cursing” to an audience of 20,000. He stated that there were three problems in the world. The first: millions of people were suffering and going to hell. The second: most people didn’t care (he used another choice word). The third: that people in the audience were more upset about the choice word that used than the fact that millions were suffering and going to hell.

Ouch.

Can’t land in the middle on that one.

Recently, I heard a local pastor make the statement that in third-world countries the gospel is more important than food. He continued to say that to meet the physical needs of someone but not give the gospel is something we shouldn’t waste our valuable time on. After all, time is short and Jesus is coming back any minute now. If their soul is going to burn in hell, giving them a little bit of food is just prolonging the inevitable, right?

We need to rethink that.

May God forgive us (myself first and foremost) for not caring about the reality of the world; for being so ignorant and detached from it that we have the audacity to say that it’s more important for people to agree with us than it is to meet their critical physical needs. May God forgive us for not knowing or caring to know the pain of hunger, the heartache of losing all your children, the shame of rape and genital mutilation and the agony of being affected by an unprecedented AIDS epidemic.

If the roles were reversed and we were there and they were here, we’d be slightly ticked. We might even curse, just to see if anyone cared.

If you’re like many Christians, John 3:16 has been your mantra from birth. I’m pretty sure I came out of the womb reciting it. And, I’ll be honest, I dig it. I want the world to know that God so loved them. I agree with Jesus …I just think we’ve forgotten that “world” doesn’t mean “America.”

So, if we want the world to hear about Jesus… why isn’t the world hearing? Why are our buildings getting bigger (and more high-tech: cool lights, awesome stages, and flashy stuff are apparently an extension of the Holy Spirit?) and our “World Need’s” budgets (also known as “missions”) shrinking?

Isn’t the point to “extend your soul to the hungry and satisfy the afflicted soul?” (Isaiah 58:10) It’s not, if your point is to have better programs, bigger buildings and more numbers. And flat screen TV’s. Those are pretty awesome. (By the way, please note that Isaiah 58 is not referring to some abstract spiritual hunger. We’re talking about empty bellies. The hungry kind.)

So who are the people who are going to change this? I was reminded today of what I’ve already been convinced of: it’s not going to be “the nice guy.”

Nice guys don’t stir up trouble.

Nice guys don’t get arrested.

Nice guys don’t break the rules.

Nice guys certainly don’t have the guts to risk losing their “nice status”

Nice guys don’t change the world.

Nice guys don’t die on crosses.

I think people should be nice, of course. But that should not define you; while the world is falling apart, nice people passively stand by and watch. Jesus did not stand by and watch. He was gentle, but he had a fire in his belly that nothing, not even death, could smother. If you’re nice, congratulations. You’ve become exactly what many companies, corporations and even churches are trying to make you. Grab your pew seat and fasten your seatbelt ‘cause you’re not going anywhere.

Where are the men and women who are willing to be revolutionaries (definition: radically new or innovative; outside or beyond established procedure, principles)? History cannot deny that it is those people who have changed the world, those who have risked all, often their very flesh and blood, in order to experience and share the love and justice of a God who is enthralled with humanity.

Here’s the challenge I face… I sometimes look at the Church (as an organization) and the people (individuals – very flawed ones, of which I am included) and my instinct in my frustration is, “forget the church.” However, I’m reminded in the words of St. Augustine, “The church is a whore, but she is my mother.”

Here’s the confession I make… I have so far to go and realize I can’t do it alone. I am desperate to find other people who aren’t afraid to ask the hard questions and wrestle with the hard answers, to peer inside their souls and look at what is really there. I long for a community of people who will genuinely challenge me in a non-legalistic, agenda-free way to live my life with purpose, filled with sacrifice and overflowing with joy.

Here’s the fear I have… I’m terrified that I’ll waste a lot of my life. I know I’m doing some good with my life. Heck, compared to some people I could probably pat myself on the back and throw up a high-five. But at the end of the day when I’m left alone with my thoughts, I’m still afraid that I won’t experience all that Jesus has for me personally and that I’ll miss what He wants to do through me corporately.

Here’s the hope I hold… I’m an optimist (in case you couldn’t tell). I’m filled with hope that she (the Church: millions of individuals Christ followers) will become what God intended. And instead of complaining or being critical, I’m going to love the people that make up my “church.” I’m going to continue to become the woman that He wants me to be; we, together, are going to continue to become the people that He wants us to become; a church that is glorious and beautiful and life giving to the world.

“Come here. I’ll show you the Bride, the Wife of the Lamb.” …resplendent in the bright glory of God.” –Revelation 21:9, 11 (MSG)

*My disclaimer: I want people to go to heaven. Really, really bad. I believe that Jesus Christ is the key to life. And I’m committed to spending my life to see as many people know Jesus and spend eternity in heaven. But I’m also committed to loving the world around me, regardless of whether or not they ever believe.